


is this what coping looks like, darling?

by nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie



Series: Bucky's bladder problems Or How Bucky and Steve discover a new side of themselves [9]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Play, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blushing, But not always, Cuddling & Snuggling, Daddy Kink, Depression, Diapers, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Embarrassment, Explicit Sexual Content, Grinding, Headspace, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, M/M, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Omorashi, Panic Attacks, Smut, Wetting, baby talk, both at the same time whoops, bucky is an angel, but nothing too graphic, but sadly she's only there very briefly, daddy!Bucky, little!steve, mentions of pooping, pee accidents, sexual age play, some of it is just really innocent and cute, steve guilt trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2019-02-13 03:33:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12974964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie/pseuds/nevercatchfeelings_youwilldie
Summary: Bucky wished he could do something to help him, but then again, wasn’t he already? Wasn’t this the biggest thing he could do for Steve to support him in his coping, in his overcoming?Maybe the age play didn’t have a lot of effect on Steve’s mental health if you look at it only from the outside, as it seemed more like hiding away than actively doing something to get better, but maybe exactly this, the internal shutting out of the horrors of the world for at least a bit of time was what Steve really needed in order to make his soul heal a bit, to get his wounds to stop bleeding until he was ready to step out of his safe space and into the real world again.---------------------------------------------------------Basically based on this prompt;"So far Steve’s headspace slips have seemed relatively brief so I’d love if you explored what would happen if Steve slid into his headspace for a much longer period. Maybe after a stressful mission he slides in for several days? How would Bucky cope with caretaking for Steve for a long period? I imagine he’d need more accessories - a high chair or a playpen or a crib. Maybe more toys for Steve?"





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys, i'm a bit late with updating this weekend, but, considering how much longer this one is compared to my previous fics, I feel you can forgive me, right?
> 
> Anyways, I tried to get to all your requests and prompts, but, since I can't possibly put them all into one fic, I had to figure out which ones get together well with the others, and the ones i didn't get to write anything for yet are still on my list and i'll try to get to them as soon as possible!:)
> 
> (here's a list of which requests/prompts are included in this fic: being in headspace for a few days, more toys and supplies for steve, diaper wetting for both of them, smut, bottle & spoon feeding (very briefly though) & steve being fascinated by bucky's metal arm)
> 
> as usual, none of the original characters and plots that inspired me are my own, and I'm not making any money with this,
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

_“I just thought you should know. It wouldn’t be fair to keep something like this from you just because you two aren’t talking anymore.”_

Steve scoffed silently into his phone. “’Not talking anymore’ is a nice way to put it. But still, thank you for telling me, Natasha. And if you happen to talk to Pepper or Rhodes, please tell them that I’m sorry and that I’m sending my best wishes.”

_“Of course I will.”_ , the woman on the other side of the line answered with a sigh. _“How are you and James doing?”_

“Good, so far.”, Steve answered as he turned his head to the side to look at Bucky, who was already watching him from where he sat on the couch, his lips pressed together, a look of alarm on his face. “I mean, there are days when everything’s a bit… complicated. But I feel like I don’t have to further explain that.”

_”No, you don’t.”_ , Natasha said in a sympathetic voice. _”Anyways, send James my love and Steve… let me know if you two need anything. I’ll keep you updated.”_

And before Steve had the chance to say anything more, the line already went dead.

Suddenly feeling terribly exhausted he took a step back and slumped against the kitchen counter, reaching up with his right hand to rub the bridge of his nose with two fingers. Where did this headache suddenly come from?

Steve looked up again when he heard Bucky walking towards him slowly, stopping a few steps away from his boyfriend.

“What happened?”, he asked in a silent voice and for a second Steve eyes the phone that he still held in one hand before putting it down on the counter, sighed and looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“Apparently, Tony had an accident in his lab, and this time things got pretty ugly. And because life’s a fucking bad joke, he was working on a new shield for me, Nat said, and… one of his other machines must’ve blown up, shooting metal and other shit all through the room… They put him into an artificial coma now.”, he explained, watching as Bucky’s eyes got bigger with his words. “They think he’ll survive, but they can’t say anything about possible consequential damages just yet.”, Steve ended with a shrug, as if that could stop the awfulness of it all crashing through his body in waves.

He suddenly began to regret not ending their argument as soon as he was back, regretted not calling his former friend months ago already, regretting every rude word he ever said or thought about him. He logically knew that his mind was playing tricks on him right now, using the situation to make him guilt trip again and making everything his fault even though Tony was just as responsible for their situation as Steve was himself, but how was he supposed to tell that to the cold feeling that ran through his limbs and the aching pain in his chest at the thought of Tony, cold and pale in a hospital bed, with tons of different hoses coming out of his body?

Steve didn’t even notice Bucky stepping forward further and was almost startled when he felt the other man wrapping his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. After a second, Steve gave in and let his head fall onto Bucky’s shoulder, suddenly on the edge of crying.

Desperately, he tried to blink the tears away, but a few still managed to escape, and they weren’t only tears of sadness about what happened to Tony but also tears of shame because right now he felt like the worst friend possible, both to Tony and to Bucky; to Tony for obvious reasons and to Bucky because here he was, wrapped in the arms of the man Tony tried to kill in his blind rage, crying about the possibility of Tony dying. 

Could he just for once not be such a fuck up?

He tried to get out of Bucky’s embrace, but the other man didn’t give in, apparently knowing exactly what battle Steve was fighting internally right now, not needing his partner’s words to explain it to him first. 

“It’s okay to be sad, Steve. I know how important he is to you.”, Bucky mumbled against his neck and that was Steve’s undoing, as he began to sob into Bucky’s shoulder, suddenly completely overwhelmed by all the guilt and pain about the situation with Tony that have built up for months, and were now crashing down on him. 

Instead of getting angry at Steve for weeping for the man that wanted to murder him, Bucky only tightened his grip around Steve’s body, cupping the back of his head with one hand, allowing his lover to dampen the material of his sweater with his tears.

“I never wanted Tony to die.”, Steve said between sobs, his voice barely audible and his breath hitching in his throat, making it sound like he was suffocating from all the tears and emotions that were suddenly pouring out of him.

“Shh, I know that, honey, I know. No one was thinking that.”, Bucky answered, trying to comfort his weeping boyfriend, and failing miserably.

“I’ve been such a terrible friend to him, Buck, I lied to him for years and now, now I’m being just as terrible to you, crying about him even though he- even though he was trying to-“

“Steve, no. Don’t do that to yourself, do you hear me?”, Bucky interrupted him sharply, now stepping away a bit and panic was rising in Steve’s chest because what if Bucky was about to leave him to himself now, what if he finally understood just how much of a shitty person Steve was being right now, had always been?

But, as it turned out, Bucky only created the small distance so he could put his fingers underneath Steve’s chin, turning his head up and holding him there so he had to look into Bucky’s eyes, whether he wanted to or not.

Yet there was nothing Steve had to be afraid of seeing in those eyes, no hardness or condemnation, only sympathy, warmth and affectionate finality.

“Listen to me, Steven, and do so very closely. When you were lying to Tony about what happened to his parents, you were trying to protect both him and me from more harm than what we already had to go through. You meant well, and I will not have you blaming yourself for trying to do what seemed to be the right thing back then. All the shit that came afterwards, the fighting, our escape, the lock-up of our friends… that was on him just as much as it was on us. He is not an innocent in this story, and I know that you know that as well, even though you can’t feel like that right now. And there’s no need for you to feel bad about weeping for your friend, because I am very well aware that that’s what he was, maybe still is, to you, and I can differentiate between a man who is sorry about something terrible that happened to a friend and a man who betrays me and my trust, okay? So, don’t you _dare_ to do this to yourself right now, don’t you dare to make yourself believe that you are responsible for his accident or a bad friend to me for feeling sorry about it, because you’re not, you’re a good person, and I will not push you away for the way you are feeling. And now come here and let me hug you, you goddamn punk.”, Bucky ended his speech by stretching his arms out right now, waiting for Steve to fall back into them, which he did, now sobbing shamelessly as he wrapped his arms around Bucky as well, clinging to him for dear life, his body trembling with the force of his crying.

And Bucky, because he was a saint, Steve was sure about that, never stopped stroking his hair and his back, always kept him close, telling him again and again that it wasn’t his fault, that it was going to be okay, the _he_ was going to be okay until Steve eventually was all cried out, leaning against Bucky exhausted, his eyes stinging and his throat sore. 

Bucky kissed his temple, and Steve felt something shift inside of him.

Within a matter of seconds, he felt like if he didn’t hold onto his Daddy as tightly as he could, the other man would vanish as well, would end up with something terrible happening to him, would be put in a hospital bed like Tony.

So, just when Bucky was about to break up their embrace, Stevie surged forward, grabbing Bucky’s sweater with both hands and began to wail hysterically.

“No, Daddy, please don’t leave, don’t leave me Daddy, I’ll be good, I promise I’ll be good just please don’t let go to of me.”

And Bucky was silent for a moment, unable to find the right words to say, because this was different from all the other times Steve slipped into headspace before. Normally, yes, he would be triggered by something but that was usually something good, or something neutral, but this, this made Bucky’s heart ache. In how much pain and despair must Steve be in if he crashed into headspace _like this_? 

In the meantime, while Bucky’s brain was still processing, Stevie continued pressing up against up, trying to get closer and closer as if he wasn’t only trying to push himself against his Daddy but hatch right _into_ him, so scared he was that Bucky might go away.

Eventually, Bucky found his voice again, and tried to calm his boy down.

“Stevie, hey, I won’t go, okay? You’ve always been my good little boy, and that won’t change, why are you so scared all of a sudden?”

“Because-“, Steve began but got interrupted by a wet hiccup. “Because everyone always leaves, because people die when I don’t hold them tight enough and I can’t lose you, Daddy, I can’t, I can’t, I-“

“Shh, shh, baby, I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. You are not going to lose me, okay? But you need to try and calm down, love, you’re having a bit of a panic attack and I need you to breathe with me now. Can you do that? Be a big boy for your Daddy and breathe with him, c’mon. In”, Bucky said and breathed in deeply, repeating the action until he felt Stevie joining him, his breath shaky where Bucky’s was steady. “and out again. Perfect, you’re doing so good. Let’s try again, okay? Take a deep breath in…. and let it out again. Good boy, you’re being so good for your Daddy.”

They repeated that again and again, until Stevie eventually managed to breathe deeply on his own, although he was still shivering and clinging tightly to his Daddy’s clothes.

When Bucky cupped his face and moved it so Steve was looking at him, his eyes were red and his eyelashes stuck together from the wetness around them. There were red, hectic patches on his skin, and his bottom lip was still quivering. 

Gently, Bucky leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Stevie’s wet lips, before kissing his cheek and the shell of his ear, too.

“I promise I’m not going anywhere.”, he whispered into his ear, pulling Stevie close again.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------- 

A few hours later, Bucky brushed Stevie’s teeth with careful motions. 

It was unusual for him to stay in headspace for almost an entire day, without actually acting upon it in any way. There was no desire to watch a children’s movie, no urge to discuss about the importance of having plush animals set up in the right order and not just randomly. He just took the pacifier and sucked rhythmically on it while he was leaning against his Daddy, following him everywhere, even to the bathroom, where he sat down on the edge of the tub and waited patiently until Bucky was done.

He refused to eat or drink anything, even when Bucky offered warm milk it to him in his bottle, and didn’t use his diaper, but instead told Bucky that he had to go potty and let the other man take him to the toilet.

Bucky was worried. Normally, headspace helped Stevie feeling better about himself, but this time, it only seemed to make him unable to look after himself, without providing him any comfort, and it hurt Bucky to see his boy like that.

Gently, Bucky let the toothbrush go over Stevie’s molars one last time, before he asked him to spit out, which he did immediately. Then, Bucky let some water run into his hand and put it to Stevie’s mouth, so his boy could rinse out the rest of the toothpaste.

Stevie sat down on the edge of the tub again and waited for Bucky to finish brushing his own teeth. When Bucky undressed to put on his diaper for the night, Stevie blushed, but couldn’t bring himself to look away either. Bucky was almost happy to see at least a bit of reaction coming from his boy, even though it wasn’t even a necessarily pleasurable reaction to what he was seeing. Or, maybe, too pleasurable, considering how red Stevie’s cheeks were turning, but Bucky refused to let their evening go into that direction now.

“Do you need to change, too?”, he asked, kindly, pulling Stevie out of his trance.

Quickly, the other one shook his head and looked down at his own crotch, where his sweatpants bulged a bit over the material of the still-dry diaper he was wearing.

With a sigh, Bucky knelt down in front of him.

“What can Daddy do for his little angel to make him smile again?”, he asked, gently rubbing Stevie’s knee with one hand.

Stevie continued looking down at his crotch, where the fingers of his left hand were now fiddling with the cord of his pants, which Bucky had to tie into a knot earlier that day to keep the cloth where it belonged. Then, Stevie shrugged, almost unnoticeable, and Bucky’s heart sank a bit further.

“C’mon Honey, there has to be something. Do you want to go to bed already? Or you wanna do something fun with Daddy beforehand?”

It was barely audible, but eventual Bucky heard Stevie mumble “something fun”. He smiled up brightly at his boy.

“Good, I hoped so! Now tell me, what do you wanna do? We could watch a few episodes of that fairy show you like, or I could read a story to you, or-“

“Yes!”, Stevie interrupted, now looking up at Bucky with excitement in his eyes, even though it was only there for a few seconds.

“Yes to the story?”, Bucky asked, and Stevie nodded.

Bucky smiled. “Alright, baby boy’s wish shall be Daddy’s command. Do you want to have your bottle so you can drink a bit while I read to you? I’ll even put some honey into it.”

Stevie made a face that was a mixture of ‘daddy why’ and ‘if I really have to’, but since he didn’t refuse or signalled him that he _really_ didn’t want to, Bucky took it as a yes, grateful for the chance to put some nutrients into his boy, as few as they were to be found in a bottle of milk with some honey.

He took Stevie by the hand and led him to the bed, where he immediately laid down and relaxed against the rest of the bed, looking at Bucky expectedly but with a lot of patience.

Bucky hurried into the kitchen and got Stevie his bottle, again using the microwave to warm it up, and was very happy about the fact that by now, he knew just how long he had to let the microwave run in order to get the milk to a suitable temperature.

Once he was back in the bedroom, he laid down next to Stevie, and helped his baby get into a position in which he could comfortably lean against his Daddy’s chest, while at the same time he could drink from the bottle. Bucky kept his left arm around Stevie’s shoulder, so he could support him with the bottle if his boy needed some help.

Then, he reached into the pocket of his sweatpants and pulled out his phone. Quickly, he opened up the website he had found a few days ago when he had some free time and was already preparing for the time he might need it for finding a nice story for Stevie, now more than grateful that he did it. Bucky wished he had some real books for Stevie to touch and find pictures in it, but he hadn’t thought of buying some yet.

He put it on his mental shopping list.

“Hmm, let’s see…”, Bucky mumbled while he was scrolling through the site, while Stevie was watching with interest, the rubber of the bottle already between his lips. 

“How about this one about hippos?”, Bucky asked, seeing that it was a short story meant for children from 3-5, and also included some nice, pretty pictures for Stevie to look at.

A bit unsure, Stevie nodded, and Bucky pressed a kiss to his temple, before he started reading.

The story rhymed, and if Stevie’s upward going mouth around the bottle was anything to go by, his boy seemed to enjoy the story. They were halfway through when Bucky heard the familiar slurping sound of Stevie sucking milk out of the bottle, his head tipped back a bit to rest more comfortably against his Daddy’s shoulder and Bucky couldn’t help but smile about his small victory while he continued reading in a slow, steady rhythm.

Once the story was finished, Stevie looked at him with big eyes, still suckling on the rubber of the bottle, which had already emptied quite a bit. He looked terribly adorable like this.

Bucky chuckled. “You wanna hear another one?”, he asked and Stevie nodded enthusiastically.

The next story Bucky read was a bit different, as it was meant for older children, and had ‘crying’ as its subject.

Bucky thought this story might be really fitting, considering how bad his boy was feeling today and how much he cried, so he read it to him.

In the end, Stevie looked at him again, although he wasn’t amused anymore, but stern instead.

“Do you understand what the story wanted to tell us, love?”, Bucky asked gently.

Stevie nodded.

Yet, Bucky continued. “It said that it’s okay to cry, because we are not trees or birds or crystals or the moon. It’s okay to be sad sometimes, and it’s healthy to let those feelings out.”, he said, moving his hand from Stevie’s chest to his face, even though that was an uncomfortable position that he wouldn’t be able to hold for long even with the metal arm, and gently stroked the boy’s cheek with his knuckles, smiling lovingly at his little angel, who looked at him with wide eyes, the rubber still in his mouth even though he had stopped sucking on it.

“You’re allowed to cry, and to feel sad, Stevie. And I hope that you don’t feel like you have to hide your feelings from your Daddy. We don’t have to talk about everything if you don’t want to, but… when things get hard, please don’t push me away.”

Bucky knew that this kind of talk maybe wasn’t the best choice for a man in the headspace of a little child, but he needed to say it, and he felt like Stevie needed to hear it, whether he completely understood what Bucky was saying or not.

He nodded anyways, and Bucky tried to lighten up the mood by smiling at him again.

“How about one more story before we go to sleep, huh?”, he asked, and again, Stevie nodded, eyes lighting up a bit at the mention of another story.

So, Bucky looked up another one while Stevie waited patiently, watching as his Daddy scrolled down the website, stopping here and there until he found something he deemed suitable.

In the end, they settled for “The Story of Yes and No”, which was rather long, and halfway through Stevie pressed the almost empty bottle into Bucky’s hand, who interrupted his reading to put it on the nightstand and replace it with Stevie’s pacifier instead. His boy immediately started worrying the binky between his lips, and when Bucky finally finished reading, he already had trouble keeping his eyes open.

Bucky set the phone on the night table and gently stroked his boy’s hair with his now-free hand while the other arm pulled Stevie even closer, until he was pretty much lying on top of his Daddy.

“Is my pretty angel tired?”, Bucky asked in a silent noise, and Stevie slowly blinked at him, which felt like a yes to Bucky. “Okay, honey, then let us try and go to sleep. I’m just going to turn off the lights, and then I’ll be right back, okay?”, Bucky announced and quickly got up to turn off the light.

When he came back, he noticed that Steve had turned around and was now lying with his back to Bucky.

Unsure about whether this was just a coincidence or a nonverbal plea for Bucky not to touch him anymore, Bucky slid back underneath the blanket carefully, trying not to get in contact with Stevie.

Of course, the thought of his boy not wanting to be cuddled by him, made Bucky sad, and his chest suddenly felt very tight and heavy, almost as if something was lacing up his insides, trying to suffocate him. But, he also knew that in his current state, maybe Stevie wasn’t able to tell him off otherwise and maybe wasn’t even capable of standing his Daddy’s need to always embrace and touch him, and Bucky didn’t want to overwhelm him.

With a heavy heart, he closed his eyes and tried to get comfortable on his back.

He was just about to turn around onto his other side, when he heard an almost inaudible whimper coming from beside him.

Quickly, he turned back around to face Stevie’s frame and already reached out with one hand to grip the other’s shoulder, when he thought better of it in the last second.

“Are you okay, darling?”, he asked softly, instead.

“Daddy…”, Stevie whined, and Bucky could literally feel the knot in his chest tighten.

“What is it, Stevie, are you hurting somewhere?”, Bucky asked, now more than just a bit concerned. He had to supress the urge to touch his boy with all his available strength of will.

“No, just-… can you hold me, please, Daddy?”, he asked quietly, his words muffled by the pacifier that was still in his mouth, yet Bucky understood him perfectly.

“Of course I can, my love.”, he said kindly as he moved to get closer to his baby boy. Gently, he wrapped one arm over Stevie’s side and underneath his right arm, so he could pull him back against his chest before he let his fingertips make light trails over Stevie’s chest. He breathed into Stevie’s neck, which made the boy shiver slightly. “Why didn’t you just tell Daddy right away what you needed?”, he asked quietly into Stevie’s hair, but only got a small shrug in return.

Tenderly, he kissed the skin on Stevie’s neck, before placing another kiss to the skin right underneath his ear, making his little angel shiver again. “You know I would never refuse a chance to cuddle you.”, he whispered before closing his eyes anew, listening to his baby’s breaths which were slowly but surely evening out as the minutes passed by.

Once Stevie was asleep in his arms, Bucky carefully moved around so he could reach his phone again.

Although the bright light of the screen was somewhat blinding him, he quickly opened up his (according to T’challa) super-secure messaging app and selected Natasha’s contact.

‘You once told me that I wouldn’t have to explain myself if I asked for something that doesn’t end in a bloodbath. Does that offer still stand?’, he typed, and hit send.

It took Nat only a few seconds to answer. ‘Yes, James.’

‘Okay, I have a list of things I need by tomorrow, the earlier the better. Imma send it to you, and could you please tell me if it’s possible for you to get that stuff and have it delivered here?’ he wrote, and attached a file that included several things Bucky had put on his shopping list for Stevie.

Again, Nat’s answer came immediately, although this time she renounced without words but instead sent a thumbs-up-emoji.

Bucky rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the content smile that was forming on his face as he laid the phone down again and moved closer to his baby boy, who was still sleeping calmly in his arms.

If this worked out, and it will since it was _Natasha_ he had asked for help, Stevie was up for a surprise tomorrow.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for mild smut in this one!

Bucky woke up from Steve’s moving around, squirming against him.

“Steve?”, Bucky asked once he halfway came to himself.

“Sorry Daddy, I didn’t want to wake you.”, was what he got for an answer, and Bucky sighed internally. While it didn’t bother him at all to have Steve in headspace and to get to care for him all day, it _did_ bug him to see that he was still feeling little, after almost 24 hours by now. This couldn’t be a good sign for his mental health, Bucky thought, since he pretty quickly found out that him dropping into headspace was some kind of coping mechanism when everything became too much for Steve to handle.

So, since he was still feeling little, he was therefor still feeling too overwhelmed by what he’s feeling and thinking about to sort his head out in an adult way.

Bucky pulled Stevie tighter with the arm he still had wrapped around his boy’s waist.

“Don’t you worry baby, I don’t mind.”, he mumbled into Stevie’s neck, and felt it as the other one squirmed again.

“Does someone need to go to the potty?”, he asked silently, knowing that the question would bring embarrassment to Stevie and therefor trying to keep his voice low, as if anyone else was there to listen to them.

Stevie nodded, and Bucky felt how he hunched up his shoulders a bit as if he wanted to hide.

“You want Daddy to take you to the bathroom?”, Bucky asked, but this time, Stevie shook his head ‘no’.

“Diapee.”, he answered, voice barely audible, and his skin was burning hot where Bucky pressed his lips against his little angel’s neck.

“You wanna go into your diapee? That’s okay, honey, that’s what they’re for. But why are you still holding?”, he asked, not able to stop his curiosity from coming through even though he knew he was making Stevie blush and squirm in humiliation by doing so.

His boy shrugged and staid silent for a bit, until he eventually mumbled something that sounded like “I like it” around his pacifier, before he turned his head so he could press his forehead into his pillow.

Bucky chuckled. Stevie was unbearably cute when he was acting all shy and blushy while at the same time living out one of his kinks.

“Mhmm, Daddy gets that.”, he whispered against his skin, his breath tickling his little boy a bit. “You want Daddy to help you hold it?”

Again, Stevie nodded and Bucky kissed his neck again, while he slowly let his hand wander over Stevie’s stomach down to where the padding was hindering him to close his thighs completely.

As Bucky cupped the material in his hand, he noticed that it was already a bit more solid than a fresh diaper usually was, although he didn’t feel any warmth against his skin. Bucky felt heat pooling in his gut.

“Love, did you have a bit of an accident tonight?”

Stevie squirmed again, and Bucky could pretty much sense him turning pink-cheeked.

“’m sorry Daddy, I woke up, but- the bed was warm and outside was cold, and I didn’t- I wanted to stay with you, Daddy…”, his boy almost whimpered, and Bucky moved as close to him as he could.

“Darling, it’s alright, you don’t have to apologize. I probably would’ve done the same. And you’re always allowed to use your diapee when you gotta go, okay?”, he said, and felt Stevie nodding.

“Okay, Daddy.”, he answered, and then, “I really gotta pee-pee, Daddy.”

“Shhh, I know, it’s alright. Just go when you have to.” Bucky said and pressed his hand further against the padding, whereupon Stevie immediately rolled his hips a bit to get more pressure to help him hold.

“Don’t wanna yet.”, he murmured silently, and Bucky had to hide his smile against Stevie’s throat. He was seriously just such a lucky man.

Stevie continued his squirming and grinding for quite some time, and he was pretty worked up after a few minutes, panting a bit and moving relentlessly.

Then, his breath hitched, and a second later Bucky felt warmth spreading against his palm as the padding slowly began to soak up his baby’s urine.

Stevie didn’t let everything out at once, but instead tried to not allow his spurts to last longer than a few seconds, as if he was trying to savour the feeling of wetting himself. In between losses of control he then and now rolled his hips into Bucky’s hand again, and Bucky could feel that his baby was a bit aroused by what they were doing.

He himself felt the familiar tingling in his nether regions too, but wasn’t really in the mood to act upon it that morning.

He was more than just a bit in the mood to help his little boy out, though, with whatever he might need.

Eventually, once the padding was rather filled up and solid in Bucky’s hand, Stevie let out one last stream of urine, and breathed out deeply as if he had been withholding his breath for quite some time by then.

Bucky felt the tension leaving his boy’s body as he pretty much melted back against him and into the mattress, although his hips continued their unrhythmical movement against his Daddy’s hand, growing in force with the minutes.

“Daddyyy.”, Stevie whimpered after on particularly hard thrust, and Bucky kissed his neck open-mouthed, suckling lightly on the soft skin there.

“Daddy, please,… more, I-“, he said but was interrupted by Bucky pushing hard against his crotch, making the soaked padding press against his baby’s hard penis.

“Is my little angel about to make cummies in his diapee?”, Bucky asked, and a shiver went through Stevie’s entire body. The moan his boy gave motivated Bucky to continue this kind of talk.

“Did your little pee-pee get hard from you having to go potty in your diapee? I bet it felt _so good_ to finally let it all out after holding for so long.”

Stevie moaned again, and Bucky pushed his palm against his erection anew.

“Did you like Daddy having his hand there when you pee-peed? Daddy felt everything, your diapee got so warm and soaked against his hand. It felt good to have Daddy hold you down there, didn’t it?”, Bucky teased and placed another open mouthed kiss onto Stevie’s heated skin while the other erratically pushed himself into his palm, rubbing his butt against Bucky’s own padded crotch then and now.

“Daddy, please, I gotta, I-“, but Stevie never got to finish what he was going to say, as his words were replaced by a punched out groan, and Bucky felt his baby’s penis twitching even through the thick material of the padding as Stevie orgasmed inside his diaper.

Bucky kept his hand where it was, giving Stevie enough pressure to ride out his high for as long as he needed to, until the sensation became too much and Stevie’s hips stilled completely.

Then, Bucky let his hand run over Stevie’s thigh, gently massaging the now-relaxed muscles there.

Stevie turned his head up so he could look up at his Daddy, who was already smiling down at him gently.

Carefully, Bucky leaned down and placed a soft, little kiss onto the corner of his boy’s mouth, right next to where his binky disappeared between his lips.

“Are you feeling better now?”, Bucky asked while now stroking Stevie’s face with the thumb of his right hand, and his little angel nodded up at him with a content smile, a look of haziness washing over his face.

Bucky kissed his lips again and then his cheek, before he let his mouth travel down to behind Stevie’s ear, where he softly blew his breath against his skin, making his baby giggle from the tickling sensation.

Once he was done giggling and squirming in his Daddy’s arms, Stevie looked at him again with big, trusting eyes while rhythmically sucking on his binky, and in that moment Bucky was sure that he was indeed the luckiest man in the world.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

After they continued cuddling in bed for some time, Bucky helped Stevie into the bathtub he had filled with pleasantly warm water and some kind of bath foam that smelled like lavender, that none of them has ever used before and that Bucky had only bought months ago in a rush of hominess, when he was at the store looking for stuff to make their apartment look more comfortable.

The whole bathroom smelled like lavender, and Bucky loved it. The smell was strangely calming, and it didn’t take long for Stevie to relax completely once he was fully seated in the water, his eyes falling close as Bucky gently massaged shampoo onto his scalp.

Afterwards, Bucky helped his little angel out of the tub, more pulling him out than he was leading him, and wrapped him up in one of their big, fluffy towels which he had put on the heater before he had let Stevie undress for his bath.

Now, he carefully rubbed him dry and enjoyed the way his ticklish boy squirmed under his touch as Bucky lightly let the towel’s fabric run down Stevie’s sides.

Then, he put his baby into a fresh diaper and also helped him put on the onesie he had bought for him some time ago but never got around to use.

It was a really cute little thing; the sleeves were long enough to cover Stevie’s wrists, and while the material seemed warm enough to not have to wear anything else over it in order not to freeze, it still was thin enough to make every muscle of Stevie’s legs, and, rather prominently, his diaper-bulge very well visible through the baby blue fabric that had tiny green rabbits printed all over it.

When Bucky added Stevie’s blue pacifier to complete the ‘look’ he was sure that his heart would burst any second.

The way Stevie was standing there, with his right hand’s fingers fiddling with the material of his left arm’s sleeve, his eyes big and round as he looked at Bucky while he sucked on his binky forcefully, he was just the most adorable little angel any person could ever imagine. 

Bucky made them breakfast, toast with cream cheese for himself and oats with milk and different kinds of fruit for his baby boy, and laid out Stevie’s blanket on the living room floor’s carpet once they finished eating.

He carried Stevie over to the blanket, while the boy looked at him like he was the strongest, most admirable man in the whole universe as soon as he had him up in his arms, and gently helped him laying down on the blanket.

Then, after getting down next to him, he reached out with his left arm and offered Stevie his metal index finger, knowing that his baby was able to entertain himself for _hours_ just looking at the shiny digit, running his hands over the arm’s cool material, especially magnified by the bits of gold T’challa’s more-than-just-slightly-talented crew of engineers plus his amazing little sister had put into the arm’s new design.

Bucky was glad to be rid of the terrible, red star that has always managed to remind him of all the terrible, red things he had done to people with that arm.

Now, he had a new one, without any symbols of Hydra printed onto it, and the way Stevie looked at it, fascinated and interested and so, so sweetly, Bucky was almost able to not hate that part of his body as much anymore.

Bucky was pulled out of his thoughts by the vibration of his phone in his sweatpants’ pocket, which signalled him that he had just received a text message.

With a sigh, he tried to get the phone out with his right hand, trying not to move around too much as to not interrupt Stevie in his exploration, and held the display in an angle that made it impossible for Stevie to read what it said, had he tried to do so.

The text was from Nat. “30 min.”, it said, and Bucky felt his heartbeat speeding up.

He had almost forgotten about what he asked from Natasha, and now he was starting to get nervous.

What if Steve thought that it was too much, or felt like Bucky was trying to force him into something?

Sure, Steve had agreed to getting all kinds of supplies, back when Bucky created the list for Steve to go through when they had sat down and talked about Steve’s needs and wished the first time, but… what if he had changed his mind or only agreed to it because he was too overwhelmed that moment to say no to many things he actually didn’t find that appealing at all?

But now it was too late, Bucky decided, and tried to calm himself down.

Stevie would like it, he told himself. He knew Stevie well enough to have a feeling for what his baby boy might need and enjoy, didn’t he?

Bucky really hoped that he did.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

It didn’t take Natasha 30 minutes to get to Bucky’s and Steve’s apartment, but 27.

Just like a normal visitor would, she rang the doorbell and waited patiently for Bucky to open the door, which took him some time because he had to explain to Stevie that Nat would come around but that he would try his best to not let her see Steve like this, and, even though he was clearly surprised and more than just a bit uncertain about this new situation, Stevie agreed to it all with a shaky nod when Bucky said that Nat would bring something he knew Stevie would love.

So, he left Stevie on his blanket in the living room, now with his blanket in between his tensed fingers, grabbed a jacket to hide his arm from the public and hurried to the door, since he had already let Nat wait long enough for him to open it.

“Hey, James.”, the blonde woman in front of him greeted him, and stepped forward to pull him into a short, but affectionate hug.

Bucky hugged right back, and mumbled a “Hey to you, too”, into her hair.

Then, she stepped back but kept her hands on his arms, looking at him as if she was a proud mother looking at her son that has just return for the first time since he left for collage because she made turkey and mashed potatoes for thanksgiving.

“You look good.”, she eventually said with a kind smile, and despite himself, Bucky blushed. That woman’s eyes could literally bring the strongest man to his knees.

“You’re not looking too bad, yourself. What’s up with the blonde hair?”, he asked with a teasing smirk, and now it was Nat’s turn to grin and look down for a second.

“I guess I just needed a change.”, she answered with a shrug and Bucky huffed out a laugh.

“Yeah, I can kinda relate to that.”

Nat let go of his arms then and pointed over her shoulder with a thumb. “I got all your stuff in the van, and an overly eager employee of the shop is there, too. Shall we help you get all the things into the apartment? And, I know I’m not supposed to ask questions, but, where’s our golden boy?”, she asked, and Bucky couldn’t help but squirm at the word ‘boy’, knowing just well enough where exactly his _boy_ was.

He knew that he wouldn’t be able to lie to Natasha, but he also didn’t have to spill out the entire truth, right?

“Steve’s inside, but… it’s not that he doesn’t want to see you but right now, he’s not really ready to meet you, or, anybody, really.”, Bucky tried to explain without giving too much information, unwilling to betray Steve’s trust and letting anyone else know about whatever was going on between them.

For a second, Nat frowned, but then she made herself smile at him again, trying to hide the slight hurt she must have been feeling at the news that Steve wasn’t ‘ready’ to see her.

“Well, um, okay. Then, I guess I’ll just let the guy put it all on your doorstep?”, she said, and Bucky immediately felt bad for not being able to tell her the truth. Suddenly, he felt the almost overwhelming need to just tell someone else, to get some help with the situation, to have someone smarter and wiser than him to tell him what was the right thing to do.

Normally, Steve would do that, but Steve was… well.

“I’m sorry that I can’t tell you what’s going on, I know that all of this seems weird and maybe a bit creepy to you-“, Nat shrugged at that, “but I promise that once the time has come, I-… We. We will let you in on everything.”, Bucky tried to apologize, but Natasha was already shaking her head softly, her trademarked smile forming on her face.

“It’s okay, James, I told you I would help you without asking questions, and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m not gonna lie, of course your shopping list made me… wonder, a bit? But whatever it is that is going on, I will not push you or Steve to warrant yourselves.”

Bucky chuckled. “Why do I feel like you already know pretty much everything?”, and at that, his friend had to laugh, too.

“Well, what can I say, I am rather smart and I’ve seen a lot.”, she said, but then her expression got stern again, and she put her hand on his left elbow, squeezing lightly. “But James, I’m being serious, I’m not gonna ask for an explanation and I’m not going to judge, either. Whatever it is that is going on between you two should stay between you two until you both are ready to talk about it with someone else. I may have my own theories and thoughts on this, because I’m only human, too, and I can’t help wondering, but I won’t let anyone else know about this, okay? I promise you that.”

Bucky nodded, grateful for Natasha’s reassurance. “Thank you, Nat. For everything.”

His friend squeezed his arm against and gave him a warm smile. “Everything for my two favorite grandpa’s.”, she said before turning around, looking around the corner at what must be the van, waiting in the driveway. “Shall we start?”, she then asked, and, relieved that they seemed to be able to concentrate on something else now, Bucky smiled and nodded.

All in all, it only took the three of them a few minutes to get all seven boxes, varying in their sizes and weights, to Bucky’s doorstep.

While Nat only carried two lighter one’s and the weight of the one’s he’d carried didn’t bother Bucky at all, the poor guy from the shop was pretty out of breath when he put down the second and last box he brought from the van. 

Bucky tipped him twenty dollars and Nat told him that he could drive back to the store, since she wouldn’t need a ride back to the city.

Once they were left to themselves again, Nat studied Bucky for a few seconds with a look in her eyes that made him feel as if he was standing in front of her naked and she was scanning him for every little flaw his skin, and probably his heart, too, showed, before her slight frown loosened up again and she leaned forward to pull him into another embrace.

This one lasted longer than the one they had shared earlier, and Bucky felt himself going limp in her arms for a second before he managed to pull himself back together.

When they moved to part again, Nat stopped him halfway by cupping his face, so she could place a quick, little kiss on his cheek.

“Remember to let me know if you need any help with your boy.”, she said with a smirk and turned around, and for a second Bucky felt both hot and cold at the same time because _she knew_ , but who was he kidding, it’s Natasha, _of course she knew, she probably already knew before he was even texting her_ , but he didn’t even get the chance to say anything that might’ve made her lose that knowledge, because Nat was already walking away, only stopping so she could look over her shoulder to tell him that “next time I come here, you better have a cup of coffee ready for me”, before she turned around the corner, leaving Bucky open-mouthed and speechless in front of his door, surrounded by seven boxes full of baby supplies.


	3. 3

Surely, Bucky did hope for Stevie to like the stuff he had ordered from the store, or rather, from Natasha.

But what he definitely didn’t expect was for Stevie to literally have the time of his damn life.

There was package waste spread all over the living room floor, and it was barely possible to walk over the carpet without stumbling over something, but Bucky couldn’t care less, because the joy in his little boy’s eyes as he unpacked all the stuff made up for all the work it would take to make the room look like a living room again, instead of a space for bomb-testing.

Now of course, Stevie’s enthusiasm wasn’t as big when he got to things like the playpen, especially since Bucky had to set up the thing first before Stevie could really recognize what it was, as it was when he pulled out the huge stuffed teddy bear (a medium big one, Natasha, _medium_ ) and immediately pressed his whole body against the soft fur, or when he saw the easel and several brushes and colour palettes that came with it.

In the end, the two men sat in between a huge stack of diapers, several onesies in pretty colours, both with and without long sleeves and trouser legs, three different kinds of colouring books, coloured pencils in all shades and varieties, a mobile that could be set on the ground for Stevie to lay underneath, with different kinds of birds, such as pink and violet owls, little, blue eagles and light green sparrows hanging from it, all made of different materials for Stevie to explore (some of them even making noises when squeezed), a soft ball that fit perfectly into Stevie’s palm and one that was a bit bigger, dark blue with little planets printed all over it, the oversized teddy alongside several other, smaller plushies (a rabbit, an owl, a puppy with a fur so soft Bucky was close to stealing it for himself, a cat, a very funny looking fox and a squirrel), a plastic cord for pacifiers so Bucky could pin them to Stevie’s clothing in order for his little boy not to lose them, a whole stack of children’s books (he let Natasha decide which ones to get since he had no idea what was important when it came to books for kids), a light blue badge that had “Bestest little boy” written on it in dark blue, another baby bottle, smaller than the other, building blocks made of wood, a rattle in the colours of the rainbow, a teether, a book that was basically made of fabric and each page had another kind of material on it that either made sound or was shiny or felt funny or sometimes all of that at once, some play dough in red, blue, yellow, green and pink with sparkles, plus the play pen that leaned against the wall, still dissembled into its individual parts. 

Once he unpacked everything and took a more or less close look at it, Stevie crawled over to where Bucky was sitting on the couch, made his Daddy spread his thighs apart so he could fit in between, and wrapped his arms around Bucky’s middle, squeezing so tightly Bucky almost had trouble breathing.

“Thank you so, so, so, so much, Daddy.”, he mumbled into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt, where he had pressed his face into.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh, too relieved to see that his boy liked his surprise, and touched by Stevie’s gratefulness, and moved his hand to gently stroke his baby’s hair and neck while leaning down awkwardly to press his lips against the other’s head.

“Anything for my cute, little angel.”, he said, all the love and affection a man could probably feel in his entire life crushing through him as Stevie lifted his face up and looked at him in the most innocent, lovely way and told him that he loved him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

They’ve spent the majority of the rest of the day in the living room, where Stevie was testing out several toys and plushies and books, or watched and ‘helped’ his Daddy setting up the playpen. According to the instruction, the thing was foldable to a degree, so people could move it out of the way and into a corner when they didn’t use it, but only when the mattress is taken out of it.

Bucky had many talents, but building up furniture with an instruction that came in Arabic, Chinese and what looked like Croatian, but he couldn’t be sure about that, wasn’t one of them. It took him almost three hours to finish that damn thing, and once he was done, he was panting heavily and a layer of sweat had formed on his forehead.

Still, all his annoyance disappeared at the sight of the look on his baby’s face as he crawled over from where he had been sitting and watching to inspect the playpen at close range. 

Curiously, he let his fingertips run over the wooden sticks and then closed his fist around one, rattling it testily as if trying to figure out just how much roughness the object could stand. Since it was Nat Bucky had sent out to get it, the playpen that could be turned into a crib was of an, apparently, very high quality, because it only swayed minimally and didn’t even creak under Stevie’s assault.

“You wanna go in, love?”, Bucky then asked, now breathing normally again.

Enthusiastically, Stevie nodded with shining eyes.

Bucky lightly touched the small of his back as if he was helping him somehow by that as his boy crawled up the two, little steps that lead up to the mattress. It was soft, but solid enough not to sink in too much under Stevie’s weight and surely, he didn’t have as much space to move around as an actual little child, who the thing was made for in the first place, would’ve had, but he still got to crawl a few steps into every direction, and so he was happy and content in there as soon as Bucky went and got his blanket, the owl and the fox plushie and the rattle for him. He also used the cord to secure the pacifier that was still in his baby’s mouth to Stevie’s shirt, before he excused himself to go to the kitchen in order to make dinner, reminding his little boy that he only had to call for him if he needed anything while Daddy was in another room. 

Bucky was halfway through chopping all the vegetables he wanted to cook tonight, when he heard his baby boy calling out for him in a small voice, sounding insecure and a bit shaky.

He found him where he left him, in the crib with the binky in his mouth and the fox plushie pressed tightly against his skin, but he wasn’t playing anymore and instead looked at his Daddy with big, round eyes, a flash of relief going through them as Bucky turned around the corner.

“Hey honey, what’s up? You okay?”, he asked, and Stevie nodded, but then looked down to his crotch, where the diaper seemed to bulge out the onesie’s material even more than before.

“I-, I think I had an accident, Daddy.”, his little angel mumbled around the pacifier, and Bucky practically felt his chest swell with affection. What has he ever done to deserve so much softness and loveliness in his life?

“That’s okay, darling. Where you too distracted by your new toys to notice that you had to go potty?”, Bucky asked in an empathetic voice, and Stevie nodded again, now looking up at his Daddy anew.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, my love. Daddy has already told you that you are allowed to use your diapees anytime.”, he reminded his boy in a gentle tone. “Do you want Daddy to change you?”

“Yes, please.”, Stevie almost whimpered, obviously a bit overwhelmed that he apparently just had a real accident, one he didn’t felt coming or wasn’t able to act upon while he was so deep in headspace.

“Shhh, baby, it’s okay, everything’s alright.”, Bucky hushed him as he leaned down to pull Stevie up by his armpits so he could wrap his blanket around his shoulders and scoop him up in his arms again, and carefully carried him to the bedroom, where he laid him down on the bed.

Then, he went to the bathroom to get his boy a fresh diaper, the wipes and the baby powder.

Since the onesie had little buttons instead of a closed seam that held the fabric together on the inside of the trouser legs, Bucky could simply open these instead of completely undressing his baby boy, and carefully let his palm wander over the hot skin of his baby’s thighs, massaging the muscles there gently in an attempt to make Stevie relax a bit.

That only worked semi well, if the slight rattling of Stevie’s breath was anything to go by, and Bucky’s heart hurt in sympathy.

Bucky leaned down so he was face to face with Stevie, who tried to escape his gaze by turning to hide his face in his blanket, but Bucky stopped him halfway by softly, but determinedly cupping his face and hindering him from moving away.

“Stevie”, he began with a sigh and felt his heart clench again at the pitiful whimper his baby gave at that. “I know that you are feeling ashamed right now, and I also understand why, but I want you to know that this is nothing to be embarrassed about, okay? You had an accident, it happens. Sometimes, little boys get distracted by something or just don’t get to the potty in time, but it doesn’t matter, because that’s why Mommies and Daddies put diapers on their little angels, because they know that their babies can’t control their bodies that much, yet. I know you don’t want to hear it, but it will happen again, honey. And when it does, there is no need for you to get upset about it. Just call for your Daddy like you did today or come over to him and show him if you don’t feel like talking that day, and Daddy will take care of you, okay? Daddy will always take care of you, because he loves you and he wants you to feel good. Oh honey, no, please don’t cry, it’s okay.”, Bucky leaned down further and caught the tear that was running down Stevie’s cheek with his lips.

Then, he continued peppering his little boy’s face with kisses. “Daddy loves you so, so much.” He said in between kisses, and only stopped doing what he was doing when he heard his baby giggle from underneath him.

He kissed the corner of Stevie’s mouth gently, moving slow this time, and looked into his wet eyes as he stroked his cheek with his thumb softly.

“You’re the loveliest little boy any Daddy could ever ask for.”, he whispered against Stevie’s lips, and kissed him again, a bit longer this time, and when he moved away a bit again, Stevie’s eyes where following him, pupils dilated, and a soft, little smile played around his mouth.

“And you are the best Daddy in the whole wide world.”, Stevie said around the binky, making Bucky blush and chuckle at the praise he got.

“I’m very glad to hear that, baby.”, Bucky said as he began opening the diaper.

Since he had to change himself more than enough times after his last round of cryo, Bucky was already used to the smell of urine, so it didn’t bother him at all when a wave of it started to fill the room, even though it made Stevie wince silently. 

He gently patted the inside of Stevie’s thigh before he began to roll up the diaper, Stevie willingly lifting his hips in time without having his Daddy to remind him, slowly getting used to the routine.

He put the bundled up diaper to the end of the bed, and started wiping his boy clean, when suddenly, while he was running the wipe over Stevie’s perineum, he felt his baby clench up a bit.

“Daddy”, his boy looked at him with wide eyes, and a look of unpleasant surprise ran over his face. “Daddy, I think I have to go potty again.”, he almost whispered, and Bucky honestly didn’t understand why Stevie was looking so uncomfortable about it, or how it was even possible for his bladder to fill up again so quickly.

But then it dawned on him, what his little boy was trying to tell him.

“Ohh, um, would you like to use your diapee for that, too?”, he asked, insecure now, because they have never had to talk about that before since the situation never came up.

Stevie seemed to consider for a moment, before he shook his head ‘no’, clenching up again.

Understanding that this had to be somewhat urgent, Bucky quickly helped his baby up and led him to the toilet, the opened onesie almost making Stevie stumble, but thankfully Daddy was right next to him, steadying his little boy.

He sat Stevie down on the toilet, and now it was Bucky’s turn to blush and turn red.

“I, um, I rather leave you alone for that, right?”, he asked, feeling terribly sorry for not being able to be the confident, reliable anchor he tried to be for his little angel right now, and, probably just as insecure, Stevie gave a jerky nod, tensing up again in order to not let go yet.

“I mean, I can also stay if you want me to, honey. Nothing I haven’t seen before.”, he said, not really able to interpret the look on Stevie’s face.

But then, a bit of gas escaped Stevie’s body despite his efforts of holding everything in, and he hastily shook his head as he turned beet red, face turning down so he didn’t have to look at his Daddy anymore.

Bucky’s chest ached at seeing Stevie so humiliated, and even though every fibre of his being wanted him to stay and comfort his baby, he knew that if he didn’t leave, Stevie’s embarrassment would only become bigger, and he also didn’t want to invade his boy’s privacy too much. They would have to talk about this subject later or the next day, Bucky decided, but for now he let his palm run through Stevie’s hair once and reminded him to just call for him if he needed any help and that he would be waiting outside, before he hurried out of the room to finally give Stevie the opportunity to relieve himself.

It only took Stevie a few minutes to finish, and apparently he didn’t need his Daddy’s help with anything, because Bucky heard the toilet flush, the running water in the sink and then Stevie opened up the door slowly, stepping out with his face turned to the ground, trying not to look at his Daddy, his face still of a deep red colour.

Bucky stepped towards him, and laid one arm around his waist, softly guiding him back to the bed where a spread out, fresh diaper was already waiting for him.

Stevie laid down on top of it, squirming a bit under his Daddy‘s gaze, and Bucky felt terrible about his baby being so ashamed.

“It’s, like, the most natural thing in the world.”, he tried to comfort his boy as he wiped him down again, just to be sure that Stevie, since he didn’t know how reliable his abilities on that field were when he was in headspace, got everything cleaned up, because getting a rash is nasty, and this was something his baby had to go through now, no matter how much he squirmed and winced.

“And you really, really, _really_ don’t have to be so embarrassed about it, my love. You think Daddy never has to make poopies?”, Bucky asked in what he hoped was a cheerful voice, noticing that, for whatever reason, even though both were basic bodily functions, talking about defecating was a lot more uncomfortable than talking about urinating.

Stevie stayed silent and hid his face in the blanket instead, while sucking forcefully on his binky, his fingers clenching and unclenching in the blanket’s fabric where he had them placed at his sides. 

Bucky made quick work of applying the powder and closing up the diaper, not wanting to make Stevie feel uncomfortable like this for longer than he absolutely had to, but once he was finished, and Stevie was moving to get up and flee the room, Bucky sat down next to him on the bed instead, and stopped Stevie from leaving by gently grabbing his wrist. 

“I know you are uncomfortable right now and I’m really not taking any pleasure from this, but Daddy needs you to talk about this with him.”, he said with a sigh, more than a bit at unease with the subject himself, but, it had to be talked about.

Reluctantly, Stevie sat down again, leaning against his Daddy’s side even though the desire to getaway was still very present on his features.

Bucky wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulder and pulled him closer.

“See, Daddy knows this is a yucky topic, and if it helps you, you should know that it’s making Daddy all squirmy too, having to talk about it. But Daddy also needs to be prepared when it happens the next time, you know? Because Daddy wants to know how to react, what to do to not make his little angel as uncomfortable again as he is right now, can you understand that?”, Bucky asked gently, one hand stroking Stevie’s back while the other softly squeezed his thigh just above his knee.

Stevie nodded, looking down at the carpet underneath his feet, which suddenly seemed to be very interesting to him.

“So, how about this; the next time you feel like you gotta go, you tell Daddy so he can help you to the potty, and then he leaves you, just like we did today, and waits just outside the door in case you need his help for anything?”, Bucky proposed and again, Stevie nodded, the binky moving relentlessly between his lips.

Then, Stevie quickly turned his head and looked at Bucky big wide eyes, his expression one of complete horror.

“But Daddy,”, he gasped, the pacifier nearly falling out of his mouth. “What if-, what if I don’t notice that I gotta go like I didn’t before, when I made pee-pee?”, he asked, his voice sounding almost panicky and the red colour returned to his cheeks brighter than before.

Bucky smiled kindly and put his lips to Stevie’s temple, kissing him softly.

“Like I said, accidents happen. I know this sounds a lot worse that going pee-pee in your diapee, but if it happens, it happens, and then Daddy will we right there to take care of it, okay?”

Although Stevie nodded, he didn’t seem very convinced.

“Hey”, Bucky tried again, cupping his baby’s face so he had to look directly at him. “Whatever happens, Daddy will never be disgusted by you. I promised to take care of you and your needs, and if it includes cleaning you up after you had an accident, then so be it. I’m not gonna lie, my love, it might take me some time to completely get used to it, too. But you will never have to be afraid or ashamed to come to your Daddy and ask him to help you with whatever it is. I promise you that. Do you understand that?”, he asked and, yet again and just as expected, Stevie nodded again but this time, that just wasn’t enough for Bucky.

“Sorry, baby, but I need you to use your words this time.”

“I understand.”, Stevie mumbled.

“I know you hate this, but what exactly do you understand, honey?”, Bucky pressed on, feeling bad as Stevie squirmed with discomfort, but needing to be sure that his little boy really got what he was trying to tell him.

“T-that if I have an accident, I can come to you, Daddy, and you won’t be mad and that you will help me.”, Stevie said in a small voice, trying to get his eyes to look at anything but Bucky’s, who leaned forward and placed a big kiss on Stevie’s forehead.

“Yes, baby, that’s exactly what I meant. You’re being such a perfect little boy for your Daddy, you’re making your Daddy very, very proud.”, Bucky said, and Stevie blushed again at the praise, although this time joy instead of embarrassment was gleaming in his eyes.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for heavy smut in this one!

While Stevie was busy laying on his tummy inside of the playpen, entertaining himself with his shiny, crinkling book, Bucky finished cooking, putting the carrots, eggplant, zucchini and mushrooms into a frying pan with some boiled rice, and seasoned the food eventually with some salt and pepper.

The two of them ate in relative silence, and halfway through Bucky had to take the spoon from Stevie and feed him with it instead, because his boy’s eyes kept wandering to all the toys that were still spread on the living room floor, which were easily visible as soon as he turned his head around a bit, and the food kept on falling off his spoon, which caused him to not eat properly and also to forget chewing then and now, and Bucky really didn’t want his baby to get a stomach ache. 

It was a real pain to keep Stevie’s attention on him and his meal, but eventually Bucky succeeded in making Stevie eat the entire content of his plate.

Afterwards, Stevie helped his Daddy cleaning up by putting their used dishes and silverware into the dishwasher before very carefully and pernickety cleaning the kitchen table’s surface with a damp rag, while Bucky out the leftovers into some Tupperware for tomorrow and freed the stove from the sports where the hot oil jumped out of the pan.

Once they were done with that, Bucky began tidying up the living room a bit, putting the majority of the things into their boxes again until he found somewhere else to store them, maybe he could put the cleaning supplies from the little room next to the kitchen into the bathroom or find some free space in their bedroom closet to put all the baby stuff into when Stevie was out of headspace again, but for now, the cartons had to do.

And because Steve was the good little boy that he had always been, he eagerly helped his Daddy making the living room presentable again.

They let the playpen stay where it was since it didn’t really hinder them from moving around freely in the room, and also the plushies, the rattle, the crinkling book and some normal books were allowed to stay out of their boxes, although Stevie had to place them inside the crib.

Then, Bucky sat down on the couch and immediately, his baby boy was pressed up against his side, asking for attention.

They moved around so Stevie could lean back against the side rest of the sofa with his legs over his Daddy’s lap, while Bucky massaged one of his calves with his left hand, and gently stroked circles onto his boy’s tummy with his right.

Stevie closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the cushion, and as the dim light illuminated his features, all the sorrow and the weight of his thoughts was suddenly very visible to Bucky, even though his boyfriend’s mind was still floating around in headspace.

Bucky wished he could do something to help him, but then again, wasn’t he already? Wasn’t this the biggest thing he could do for Steve to support him in his coping, in his overcoming?

Maybe the age play didn’t have a lot of effect on Steve’s mental health if you look at it only from the outside, as it seemed more like hiding away than actively doing something to get better, but maybe exactly this, the internal shutting out of the horrors of the world for at least a bit of time was what Steve really needed in order to make his soul heal a bit, to get his wounds to stop bleeding until he was ready to step out of his safe space and into the real world again.

Steve deserved peace, both in his own mind and in the world around him. And if this is what gives that to him, at least temporarily, then Bucky was more than willing to continue what they were doing, even though it did prove itself to be difficult at times.

“Stevie?”, Bucky whispered.

His baby sleepily opened his eyes and looked at Bucky in such a trusting, loving way, Bucky felt his heart make a tiny little jump.

“Daddy loves you very much.”, he said, trying to put all the sincerity and gravity he felt, into his words.

Stevie swallowed, and for a second Bucky could’ve sworn he was able to see _Steve_ in his gaze, but then the boy smiled sweetly at him and said “I love you very much, too, Daddy.”, before his mouth opened up again in a big yawn, which sort of pulled Bucky out of the moment he was having with himself.

“How about we go and watch a movie, and then Daddy takes you to bed?”, he then asked, giving his best to sound cheerful, and apparently that worked, because Stevie nodded enthusiastically and made grabby hands at the remote that was laying on the table in front of them.

Bucky turned on the TV and opened up the kid’s section in Netflix before giving the device to his waiting baby.

This time, his boy decided that he would like to watch the movie ‘Arielle’, and Bucky didn’t argue about it, since it seemed like a very colourful, fun movie.

As it turned out, Stevie did indeed enjoy the movie, as he kept talking about the fish and the crab while Bucky was trying to brush his teeth, although the evil woman-octopus creature with the very fitting name ‘Ursula’ did scare him a bit. And, if Bucky was honest with himself but would never admit to his baby boy, Ursula’s tentacles brought up some very unpleasant feelings in him as well.

Stevie’s diaper was still dry when Bucky made him ready for bed, following Stevie’s wish to let him sleep in his onesie as he seemed to really love the clothing’s soft material and didn’t want to take it off and exchange it for some sweatpants and a shirt, so he had no reason to change it.

He did put himself into one, though, because he still didn’t trust his bladder not to betray him, especially if he happened to have a nightmare while he slept.

The two men cuddled up in bed, with Steve draping his body over his Daddy’s entire left side, basically laying on top of him with his whole figure as soon as Daddy put the binky into his mouth again.

Bucky didn’t mind though, quite on the contrary; he pulled his little angel even closer with the arm he had wrapped around his waist, while the other searched for Stevie’s left hand, intertwining their fingers before kissing Stevie on the forehead, wishing him a good night and only getting an incomprehensible murmur in return, before they both drifted off to sleep. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

When Stevie woke up the next morning, he was still in headspace, which Bucky noticed by the repeated poke of one fingertips against his side.

“Daddy, wake u-hup.”, a way too cheerful voice for that time of the day almost sang next to him, and when he opened his eyes and slowly adjusted them to the darkness, Stevie’s face became visible, leaning over him and smiling at him brightly.

“Hmpf?”, Bucky said, not very intelligibly, which made Stevie giggle a bit.

“Finally.”, the boy breathed out, and ducked his head so he could press his forehead into the crook of Daddy’s neck.

Still halfway asleep, Bucky wrapped his arms around his boy and held him close, gently stroking up and down his back. “Have you been awake for long, honey?”, he asked, and felt Stevie shaking his head as much as he could with what limited amount of space he had. 

“I just really wanted to cuddle with you, Daddy.”, Stevie said, and then he looked up again, insecurity displayed on his features. “Please don’t be mad at me for waking you up, Daddy.”, he mumbled, and Bucky couldn’t help but put his palm to the back of Stevie’s head so he could lead him up and kiss him gently with closed lips, before stroking the hair at his baby’s neck.

“Of course I’m not mad at you, baby, this was the nicest thing to wake up to in quite a long time for me.”, he reassured his boy, whereupon Stevie blushed a bit and ducked his head, but smiled happily at his Daddy.

Stevie moved back into his previous position, now slinging one leg over Bucky’s thigh and wrapping his arms around his Daddy’s torso.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both enjoying the warmth of the other’s body against their own, too lazy and too comfortable to get up.

Then, Bucky heard Stevie say “oh”, in a small voice and a second later he noticed what the reason for his boy’s ‘oh’ was, as he felt Stevie’s padded crotch growing warm and heavier against his thigh.

“Are you going potty right now?”, Bucky asked him with a chuckle, unable to stop himself from teasing his boy as he turned deep pink, but without looking too bothered by it.

Shyly, his baby nodded, and Bucky laughed again, surprised by Stevie’s sudden boldness, but relieved that apparently Stevie felt more comfortable about his needs and actions around his Daddy, especially since the toilet subject has always been a difficult one for him. The skin of Stevie’s face was burning hot where it came in contact with Bucky’s, but he didn’t make any effort to bring distance between himself and his Daddy once he finished going into his diaper, instead, if anything, Bucky felt his little angel pushing himself even closer against his side, wriggling a bit to get more comfortable.

Bucky could’ve fallen asleep like that shortly after, just like Stevie apparently did according to his slow and deep breaths, but his own bladder stopped him from gaining the required level of relaxation for that.

If Stevie wouldn’t be laying on top of him like that, he could’ve just rushed to the bathroom real quick, finish his business there and return to bed, but as the situation was, Stevie seemed to be very comfortable where he currently was, and Bucky really wasn’t in the mood to disrupt his baby boy.

He told himself to just hold it for another few minutes, as Stevie would surely wake up again soon, once he started to get hungry the latest.

As it turned out, Stevie apparently didn’t feel like getting up to eat at all, because a few minutes turned into a few more and the next time Bucky turned his head to look at the clock that was standing on the night table, over an hour has passed since he had told himself to just wait and hold it out.

By now, the slight need from the beginning has started to turn into a real urge.

Bucky was barely able to keep his hips still anymore, but wanted to do so desperately, because Stevie slept to peacefully with his thumb sucked in between his lips and a completely relaxed look on his face, and if there’s something Bucky really, _really_ didn’t want, it was to wake his boy up right now.

But what was he supposed to do? With the way Stevie was laying on top of him, he didn’t even had the chance to put his hand down to his crotch to help himself hold it without having to push Stevie’s leg out of the way.

But if he continued squirming around like that, he surely would wake up his baby sooner or later, anyway.

Then, of course, there was still the possibility to just… but, no, that’s not what the diaper he was wearing for. He put it on to be safe and secure if he happened to have an accident at night, not to use it just because he was too comfortable to get up and use the toilet like a normal, adult person would do.

But then again, it would be a one-time thing, right? After all, he wouldn’t do it again, and right now, it was the best solution for everyone, and no one (besides Stevie, maybe) ever had to find out about it.

The literal angel and the literal devil on Bucky’s shoulders kept on arguing, while Bucky kept on moving his hips around slightly, trying his best not to wake his sleeping boyfriend but at the same time not to lose control over his bladder.

Eventually, the subtle movements weren’t enough anymore, and without any chance to actually help it, Bucky rolled his hips up forcefully, trying to get some much-needed friction from Stevie’s thigh, which was still placed over his crotch.

A silent groan escaped his throat as he grinded his suffering penis up against the solid flesh of Stevie’s leg, and he felt his boy stir against him.

‘Goddammit’, Bucky thought as he tried to be completely still for a moment, but failed miserably, his hips practically moving on their own accord and after a few seconds, Stevie sleepily lifted his head and blinked at his Daddy in confusion.

“Sorry for waking you up, baby.”, Bucky tried to say as nonchalantly as possible, which proved itself to be rather difficult, considering the effort he had to put into not peeing his diaper any second now.

“What’s wrong, Daddy?”, his little angel asked in a worried voice, before his eyes travelled down to where Bucky’s crotch was moving against his thigh, and once realization hit, a wave of pinkness swept over Stevie’s skin. “Oh.”, he said again, before a grin started to spread on his face.

“Daddy, do you gotta go potty?”, he asked, as it was now his turn to tease his Daddy, and Bucky couldn’t help but chuckle at the mischievous look on his boy’s face.

“Well, I thought I could try and hold it because I didn’t want to wake you up, darling.”, Bucky tried to explain, groaning again as Stevie slightly moved his leg, providing him a new, better angle to roll up against. 

Stevie looked at him in consideration for a few seconds. “You told me that it was okay to go into my diapee when I have to go potty.”, he stated, now looking stern.

Bucky licked his lips and nodded. “That’s right, I did.”

“Then it’s okay for you to do the same, right?”, he asked, and what was Bucky supposed to answer to that? No, because Daddy was an adult and an adult doesn’t pee into diapers anymore? He knew that would upset Stevie, as it sounded as if Bucky deserved to keep his dignity because he wasn’t in headspace, while Stevie had to give his up due to him slipping into littlespace every now and then. Of course Bucky knew that this had nothing to do with dignity, but considering how embarrassed Stevie used to be about using his diaper, and thinking of the big progress he made this morning alone, Bucky thought it wouldn’t do him any good if he refused to go into his diaper, now, as well.

Groaning internally, Bucky let his head fall back into the pillow and closed his eyes.

“Well, yeah, I guess the same rules go for Daddy as they do for you.”, he admitted, now terribly close to giving in as he kept grinding his by now semi-hard penis into the padding. 

Stevie looked at him with big, curious eyes, a look of complete wonder on his face. “Then just go, Daddy, it’s okay.”, he said bluntly and if he wouldn’t be as caught up his desperation as he was, Bucky would’ve probably had to laugh because of the way his baby was using his own words against him now.

But, even if Bucky had tried to change his mind now, it would’ve had already been too late by now; his already weakened bladder gave out just as he gave another hard thrust, and within seconds the padding his dick was pressed against became hot and wet, and Bucky couldn’t help the moan of relief that escaped his throat as soon as he started going in a strong stream.

Absently, he noticed Stevie looking at him in astonishment, pupils delating a bit as he watched Bucky’s facial muscles relaxing while he wet himself, his hips still grinding up then and now, making him gasp silently and Bucky could’ve sworn that Stevie pushed his thigh against him just a bit harder.

His piss was running down his balls, and, due to the speed with which his bladder released its content, pooled around his butt for a few seconds before the padding managed to soak it all up, right as another wave of hot urine started to gather.

It didn’t take long for Bucky to finish going, and once he was done, he felt like he was floating for a moment, so much of a relief this was.

He got pulled back to reality rather quickly though, as he felt Stevie softly kissing the side of his throat, gently suckling on the skin there and almost involuntarily, he rolled his hips up again, for a different reason than before. 

“Daddy”, his little boy breathed against his skin. “I-, ‘m feeling funny down there.”, he said silently, and his words went right to Bucky’s groin, causing his muscles to tense up in arousal.

“Oh yeah, funny, you say? Where exactly does it feel funny, baby?”, he asked, and Stevie squirmed, now subtly rubbing his own diapered crotch into his Daddy’s hip.

“In my pee-pee.”, he almost whispered into Bucky’s neck, and a shiver ran through his body, both from the hot breath tickling him as well as in reaction to his baby’s words.

“Mhm, do you want Daddy to take of that funny feeling?”, he asked and almost immediately, he felt Stevie nodding.

In one swift movement, he grabbed his boy around his thigh and his shoulder and quickly turned both of them around, so he was laying on top now, looking down at Stevie for a second before connecting their lips in a kiss. 

Willingly, Stevie opened up his mouth for Bucky’s tongue to enter, which it did, playfully pushing against Stevie’s. As much as his baby’s behaviour changed when he was in headspace, Bucky noticed, he still acted the same when it came to this.

Stevie spread his thighs as wide as he could without it becoming uncomfortable, and Bucky immediately took in the invitation and pressed his padded crotch against Stevie’s, circling his hips in order to make the wet diaper rub against their cocks in the most delicious way.

Stevie moaned into his mouth, which caused Bucky to gave a hard thrust, one that made Stevie shiver all over.

“Daddy, please, I-, I need to-“, Stevie tried to talk, but Bucky interrupted him with a another thrust.

“It’s alright baby, I know you’re feeling all funny and tingly around your pee-pee, but Daddy knows just what his little angel needs. Do you allow Daddy to give you what you need?”, Bucky asked, sincere now as he searched Stevie’s eyes for any sign of insecurity about this.

But, there was none to be found, and Stevie nodded enthusiastically, already leaning in for another kiss, yet Bucky hindered him by cupping his face gently with one hand.

“Sorry, honey, but I need you to use your words on this. Can Daddy touch you and make you feel good?”, he asked, and Stevie answered with a breathily “yes.”

“And if you don’t feel good anymore or Daddy does something yucky, do you promise to tell him immediately?”, he asked further, and again Stevie nodded, and, at Bucky’s questioning look, opened his mouth again.

“I promise, Daddy.”

“Good boy.”, Bucky praised and loosened up his grip, which Stevie immediately used to finally press his lips to his Daddy’s again.

They continued kissing and grinding against each other for a few minutes, until Bucky noticed that his baby’s breathing has started to become quicker, and a familiar heat was pooling in his own gut.

“Baby, will you let Daddy try something new today?”, he asked, and Stevie moaned and nodded, baring his throat for Bucky to suck on it passionately.

With Stevie’s consent, Bucky undressed him out of his onesie, before taking his own clothing off, leaving them both in just their wet diapers.

There was something terribly sinful about having Stevie completely sprawled out underneath him while he rubbed his soaked groin against his baby’s, hearing him moan and gasp in lust as his fingernails scratched down his Daddy’s back, leaving red marks, and it was so forbiddingly good, Bucky almost felt intoxicated by the sensations. 

Reaching out with one hand, Bucky took hold first of one, then of the other of his angel’s wrists and pinned them down to the mattress above Stevie’s head, causing his boy’s back to arch up beautifully from the bed.

Trailing his mouth down his neck, his collarbone and then his chest, Bucky eventually reached Stevie’s left nipple and starting suckling on it gently, making his little boy squirm and groan, before he switched to his other pec, repeating the gesture there and even though it wasn’t really possible anymore, Bucky felt Stevie trying to spread his thighs even wider as his hips rolled up more forcefully, chasing the pleasurable friction Bucky’s soaked padding provided to him. 

Then, Bucky got an idea that made another stroke of arousal go through his nether regions.

“Honey, is it okay if Daddy turns you onto your tummy?”, he asked his baby, lips close to his ear and gently biting into his earlobe immediately after.

Too far gone for words, Stevie nodded shakily, and helped Bucky as he let go of his wrists and carefully turned him around, causing his baby to grind his erection against the mattress as soon as his crotch came in contact with the surface.

Although it seemed really tempting to just lean down and rut against Stevie’s butt that looked terribly cute and irresistible in his used diaper, Bucky leaned back onto his calves instead, and quickly got to work to open up his baby’s diaper, flapping the backside of it down so he was looking at Stevie’s bare skin.

Then, he reached out with his metal arm and opened the drawer of the nightstand, getting out the little used bottle of lube.

Carefully not to use too little, but also not to soak everything with the fluid, Bucky spread some on the fingers of his flesh hand.

“Darling?”, Bucky asked, and Stevie hummed in return. “Daddy’s gonna touch the little hole at your butt now, is that okay?”, he asked, and Stevie nodded, although Bucky noticed his shoulders tensing up a bit.

Softly, he let his left hand run over the small of his baby’s back. “If you don’t want Daddy to do that, please tell him.”, he reminded his little one, but Stevie mumbled a “it’s okay, I want it. Just, be careful, Daddy, okay?”, into his pillow and Bucky’s face made a pained grimace at the worry of his baby that his Daddy might hurt him.

“I promise I’ll be so, so careful, honey. And if it becomes too much for you, you are always allowed to tell me so, okay? It’s gonna be a bit cold down there in a moment, just so you don’t startle.”, Bucky informed his baby and then carefully moved his hand down, gently parting his baby’s butt cheeks with his fingers, before reaching the puckered hole and softly pressing one fingertip onto it, only circling it around the rim without pushing in for a few seconds until he felt his baby relaxing a bit into his touch.

Then, he oh so slowly started to insert the first digit of his middle finger into Stevie’s tight little hole, and his boy gasped a bit at the intrusion, but made no motion to signal Bucky that he didn’t feel good and wanted him so stop.

It took Bucky some wiggling and careful thrusting in and out, but eventually the finger moved smoothly inside Steve, causing his little angel to start rolling his hips again, now alternating between rubbing his erection into the padding and pushing back on Bucky’s finger as he began to make a come-hither-gesture with it.

The second finger went in a lot easier, and this time Stevie let out a high moan as Bucky started moving it inside of him, his hips trashing forward as Bucky brushed his fingertips over what must’ve been Stevie’s prostate, making him spread his legs wider by pulling his right knee upwards, giving his Daddy more room to move between his thighs.

Because Bucky wanted to be sure that he wouldn’t hurt Stevie once he put his dick in, Bucky also added a third finger and alternated between scissoring, circling and thrusting his digits until his baby’s hole was definitely loose enough to take his Daddy’s cock, fluttering a bit in anticipation around Bucky’s fingers which caused him to chuckle a bit as he pulled his fingers out, enjoying the way Stevie whimpered and looked over his shoulder accusingly at the loss of stimulation.

But the disappointment only lasted a few seconds, which was the time Bucky needed to undo his own diaper with one hand before spreading some more lube on his hard cock, because then, he leaned forwards until he was pretty much laying on top of his boy, trying to get his skin in contact with as much as possible of Stevie’s, and started angling his hips until he finally felt the tip of his dick brush against his angel’s hole, which twitched in response to the contact.

“Are you ready, baby?”, Bucky asked, lips close to his ear, and Steve nodded forcefully, turning his head upward so he could get kissed by his Daddy, just as Bucky began moving his hips forwards, carefully starting to sink into the heat of his baby’s body.

Steve gasped and squirmed, but didn’t try to get away from the sensation.

If anything, _he_ was the one moving his hips back against Bucky impatiently once Bucky completely bottomed out, and waited for Stevie’s anus to adjust to his size.

Bucky had to laugh at that, and pressed an open mouthed kiss onto Stevie’s neck. “Eager, are we?”, he teased, and his baby only whimpered in return, moving his hips more forcefully to get his Daddy to finally do _something_.

Deciding that he had let his boy wait enough, and also more than ready to get started himself, Bucky eventually moved his hips back and forth, carefully at first but gaining in force as time went by, making his little angel moan and lift his leg higher, his Daddy then supporting him by gripping his popliteal with his right hand and pushing Stevie’s knee up even further, spreading his ass cheeks as far as they would go as he thrusted his cock deeply into the heat between them, unable to hold back his own punched out groans.

“God, baby, you feel so good.”, he murmured into Stevie’s ear who bit into the pillow in return in an attempt to muffle the loud moan that was escaping his throat.

“No, darling, oh, f-, let me hear you, don’t hold back.”, Bucky gasped as he sped up the movement of his hips, his left hand now tangled in the sheets, trying to get some leverage to push in harder without moving around on the mattress too much. If the heat in his groin was anything to go by, Bucky wouldn’t need much more time to finish.

And Steve must’ve felt similarly, because the next Bucky heard from him was a breathily “Daddy”, that turned into groan halfway through as he rolled his hips, trying to press his erection into the soaked padding underneath him again, looking for some much-needed friction.

“Does your little pee-pee still feel funny, huh, baby?”, Bucky groaned against Stevie’s skin and he resumed kissing and sucking on his neck and shoulders.

Stevie nodded in response, before gasping out a shaky “Yes, Daddy, everything tingles.”, his breath hitching in his throat as he was trying to speak due to the force of Bucky’s thrusts.

Bucky let go of the sheets with his left hand and started moving it down Stevie’s side until he reached his hip, pushing against it lightly to signal Stevie to lift it a bit, which his good, little boy complied to immediately.

Fumbling with the material of the diaper for a second, Bucky eventually managed to grab a handful of it, and without a warning, pushed it upwards against where Stevie’s hard erection was already grinding against the fabric.

His boy let out a groan that sounded as if someone had just punched him into the guts and after a second of surprise, his hips began rolling relentlessly into Bucky’s palm, his little boy nearly crying out in pleasure as he rubbed his leaky penis into the still-warm, soaked padding of the diaper, relishing in the way Bucky’s solid metal hand provided so much more friction than he had before.

“Feels good, huh? Is this what my little angel needed to make his pee-pee feel better?”, Bucky asked, always surprised by how easily that kind of dirty-baby-talk came to him when he was in the mood for it, and Steve nodded enthusiastically in response, again biting into the pillow as he rolled his hips.

Spreading his knees apart wider, Bucky changed the angle with which he pushed his rock hard cock into his baby’s hole, and that seemed to be a good move, because Stevie’s body literally _convulsed_ underneath him as each of his Daddy’s thrusts hit his prostrate, making him moan and squirm as he rutted against the diaper.

“Daddy, Daddy, I gotta, I-, I have to, ‘m gonna-, ohhh”, he sputtered out, way too far gone to build a coherent sentence anymore.

“You’re gonna make cummies into your wet diapee, baby? You’re about to have an orgasm?”

“Y-yes, Daddy, please, I need to, I need to, I-“, and with that, Stevie moaned again, higher than before, and thick ropes of come began to erupt from his penis, getting soaked up by the diaper’s material as he kept grinding his erection into it, making the head of his spurting penis push through his own mess again and again, his butt clenching around Bucky’s own cock and that was enough for him to follow his boy right over the edge, filling his hole with his hot sperm, pressing his mouth onto Stevie’s shoulder in order not to cry out from pleasure as he emptied himself completely.

Bucky rode out his high with another few thrusts, much gentler and more erratically than before, before he eventually collapsed on top of Stevie, leaning his sweat covered forehead against the other’s shoulder, panting heavily.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was sitting in his playpen, the fox plushie in his left hand, the cat plushie in his right, and silently played with them on his thighs, softly mumbling something to himself now and then that Bucky could hear but not understand due to the distance between the crib and the sofa he was sitting on with a book in his lap.

He had dressed Stevie is his new, light rose onesie that didn’t have trouser legs but did have sleeves up to the elbows, and with the way his binky was sucked in between his lips and how proudly he wore his ‘bestest little boy’ badge right on the left side of his chest, he seriously couldn’t look any cuter.

Stevie’s hair was still a bit damp from the shower he had a few minutes ago, and his cheeks were a bit pink from the excitement about whatever he was playing there with his plushies.

Completely abandoning his book, Bucky leaned back against the cushion and just watched his little angel as he continued his play, a lovesick smile spreading on his face as he practically felt his heart swell with all the love and the affection he felt for the lovely boy across the room.

Stevie was just about to exchange the fox with the owl that laid face-down next to his spread-out thigh, when he must’ve felt his Daddy’s gaze on him.

The amusement about his play was still visible on his face when he looked at Bucky with his big, baby blue eyes and for just a second, the two men looked at each other in what could only be called silent understanding between people whose souls have connected a long time ago, because at the exact same time they smiled lovingly at each other before both returning to what they were doing; Steve to his plushies, and Bucky to his book about space.

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta say... i'm not really that happy with this one. I can't really name what bugs me, but something about this fic annoys me in the worst way :'D
> 
> But i still hope that you guys enjoyed it at least a bit! As always, I'm more than happy about hearing your opinions, your critique, your ideas... just anything, really :)
> 
> also, here are the links for the stories Bucky reads to Steve, in case you want to take a look at them:
> 
> https://www.freechildrenstories.com/when-do-hippos-play
> 
> https://www.freechildrenstories.com/if-i-could-not-cry
> 
> https://www.freechildrenstories.com/the-story-of-yes-and-no
> 
> and for those of you who worried; i won't let tony die in my fics and he also won't have any long term damage from what happened to him :)
> 
> (ps: a lovely reader introduced me to this cute, little website called 'buy me a coffee', which is basically a way to support your favorite artists/creators by donating a bit of money. i'll definitely use it in the future to buy my faves a coffee, and if you happen to want to do the same to me, you can find me [here](http://www.buymeacoffee.com/catchfeels)!)


End file.
